the quiet place

the quiet place [sila click]

This is a place I often go when I'm online. A nice place.

I thank Asyraf Roslan for this link. I miss him. So much.

Hope you are doing fine there friend.

I really miss us - Omar, you and I.

:)

Dari Allah kita datang, kepada Allah kita kembali.

Share it to others if you think it is a good quite peaceful place.

Written in the stars [Part 5]

The river was beautiful. It flowed slow and smooth.

As if it was waiting for me to speak.

I took a deep breath.

I looked to the other side of the river.

I was worried.

You were sad. Your eyes were gloomy.

I could feel it. Deep.

The river was wide. The distance was painful, yet it was lovely.

I sighed. I did not have the power.

I wished I could swim there.

I sat down. 

I whispered,

"Remember Allah. Remember Allah. Remember Allah. And don't ever give up. Don't give up on Him."

The wind started to blow. So tender and soft.

As if it was comforting me and you.

The wind will carry my whisper to you.

I stood up.

I went.

"We are survivors and we are travelers. Don't get distracted, the real destination is Allah, and only Allah. Emotion is only a tool", I whispered, again.

I looked up, "O Allah.. keep the person safe, until I am able to cross to the other side".

Mai Cek nak habaq skit.

Di Penang ni, selalu tergelak.

Masa halaqah, Umar dan Abu Bakar akan jadi Umaq dan Abu Bakaq. Selalu masa halaqah gelak sorang-sorang. Geli hati. Sampai sekarang. Huduh habis bunyi dia. Punya lah nama Abu Bakar dan Umar tu ada izzah dan megah dia, terus hilang bila sebut macam tu. Kelakar kot. Memang tak boleh fokus bila masa naqib cerita pasal sirah. Nak gelak je.

Masa jalan-jalan, Tasik Gelugor jadi Tasik Gelugoq. Masa dalam lab, cecair jadi cecayaq! Nasi Daging jadi Nasi Dagin. Kambing jadi Kambin. Parit Buntar jadi Parit Buntaq. Motor jadi Mutoq!


Tapi Kelantan pun macam tu jugak.

Uthman jadi Uthme. Pasir Mas jadi Pasir Mah. Kok Lanas jadi Kokk Llanah. Kubang Kerian jadi Kube Khie. Gua Musang jadi Guo Muse.

Zainab jadi Mek Nab. Azman jadi Mea. Rubber jadi Roba. Shock Absorber jadi Saksoba. Biskut jadi Sekut'. Duit jadi pitih. Syiling jadi Skeleng. Tapi tak kelakar pulak. Sebab dah biasa kot.

Kesimpulan, kena biasakan diri. Insya Allah. Lama-lama tak gelak dah lah. Takkan nak gelak sepanjang duduk sini.

Hari itu pergi beraya rumah ustaz Syazalie. Ahli DPN IKRAM termuda. Belajar di Yaman. Rumah dia penuh  buku-buku arab. Macam library. Tawadu' dan mesra orangnya. Dia SPM skor straight, pilih untuk ambil bidang agama.

Selalu jumpa dia, mesti belajar pasal Tasyaabuh al Alfaz - salah satu disiplin dalam Ulum Quran. Mengenai perkataan yang nak dekat sama maksud. Contoh macam wa Saari'u ila maghfirah(Ali Imran) dan Saabiqu ila maghfirah(Al Hadid 21). Ataupun apa beza Khashyah as in Khashyatillah dengan Ar Ru'b as in wa fi qulubihimurru'ba (al Hasyr). Ataupun beza al Ghafuur dan al Ghaffaar. Tahu pasal disiplin ni masa ustaz bagi kuliah pasal tajuk ni, sejak tu baru tahu ada disiplin ilmu ni dan berminat.

Lagi satu minat nak faham kenapa certain ayat ada Ghafuururrahim, tapi ayat lain Rahiimul Ghafuur. Kenapa sekejap Qawiyyun 'Aziz sekejap 'Azizun Hakim. Kenapa nabi Yusuf sebut Hafiizun 'Aliim(masa nak jadi bendahara) kenapa nabi Musa sebut Qawiyyun 'Amin(apply kerja dengan nabi Syu'aib). Banyak lagi. Sebab memang jenis tak keruan kalau ada persoalan tak terjawab. Ini nak tawakkal kat Allah macam mana nak bagi jawapan, pemalas lah namanya. Ini bukan bab cinta atau nikah ke apa nak serah pada Allah macam tu saja. Ilmu kena cari, kena usaha.

Masa raya haritu tanya pasal Ar Ru'ba dan Khashyah pada ustaz. Ustaz terus bagi kitab Arab, Itqan fil Quran kot nama dia. Ustaz suruh baca. Dah lupa dah bahasa Arab tinggi masa form 5. Nak kena asah balik. Serius, 'Ulum Quran antara ilmu yang aku nak sangat kuasai. Tapi tak boleh lah nak terus macam tu. Kena faham Arabic, dan Nahu segala bagai. Ustaz cakap kita nak faham, bukan satu buku je baca. Kena ada lima enam buku untuk cross reference silang pendapat, baru ada basic kefahaman disiplin tu.

Masya Allah. Cemburu. Harap sepanjang di Penang ni dapat belajar banyak lagi dengan ustaz. Insya Allah.

Ingat masa cuti nak belajar ilmu ini. Tapi nak kerja juga nak cari duit. Tak tahu lagi mana satu. Harap boleh lah dua-dua.

Nanti kalau jumpa boleh lah kita borak-borak, you choose. Loghat penang boleh, loghat klate pung boleh. Cuma, macam ada seorang kawan ni jugak lah, dia cakap Kelantan bunyi macam Siam, sama lah, orang Kelantan kat sini pun cakap aku cakap bunyi macam Siam. Tapi takpelah. Kita try lah. Lama-lama jadi lah tu.

Orang Kelantan ini kuat Assobiyah jugak. Kat sini pun macam tu. Walaupun aku macam cakap Kelantan tak seberapa, tapi derang memang melekat jugak dengan aku. Iftar sekali, solat sekali semua sekali. Pergi kelas pun sekali. Sebab diorang tahu aku orang Kelantan, walaupun aku selalu cakap KL dengan diorang ni. Tapi diorang tak pun menolak orang luar. Bukan jenis assobiyah tegar. Kitorang malam-malam kalau dah habis study, ada lah yang bawak gitar main sama-sama. Walaupun selalu aku suruh diorang keluar bila dah pukul 12. Nak tidur. Still, I love them.

Scene yang selalu jadi macam ini. Scene jenis perasan tahap gaban.

1. "Eh Fikri, mu gi dok male ni, hok Imam Muda tu?" aku tanya.
"Meme lah..aku hok mesej die, suro die maghi. Geng aku tu. Kitorang selalu main mase kecik2 dulu." dia balas.
"Mu mesej die, takde pun. Lebong ni. Handset aku dok dapat pun mesej ape2." implying that I'm the Imam Muda. Haha.

2. "Eh Nazim, mu doh tengok movie IP Man hok yang keduo? " aku tanya.
"Tengok bakpenye, movie tu pasal aku." -.-

3. Bila ada jet air force lalu, akan ada sorang cakap "aduh..awalnya bapak aku datang. Aku minta datang pukul lima, ni baru 4.30" implying that the jet bapak dia bawak. Ada orang pulak reply, "Aik..sejak bila bapak mu amik jet control aku? Ni mainan aku masa kecik2 dulu. Patut tak ada dalam garaj mainan aku". -.-

And many more.



P/s - It's good to be a student. I spent countless sleepless nights just to finish doing my tutorials, homework, and study. It feels really good. It's not last minute, I don't sleep because I love doing my work. I love equations, and I love being stuck at questions and working out every possible solutions. I love staring at formulas for hours just to understand how they derive them. I will not be satisfied until I understood how they were derived. Although engineering equations should not be as hard as physics equations, except for understanding the applications, still it feels very good. I bet physics and math students enjoy their courses very much. Plus, I never realize how much I love experiments. Except for the lab report part. I will choose to do the discussion and conclusion parts, in which the parts are not very technical and provides me a very wide range to discuss and understand the experiments. Especially in the ElectroTechnology lab. The lab session is 4 hours straight, and not even once I feel sleepy.

p/s 1 - Sekadar mengisi masa lapang kejap tulis post ni. Semua dah exhausted dah study group. Circuit Analysis.  :)

p/s 2 - ada pernah tanya, outlier di label post bawah ni maksudnya lying ke? Tak. Outlier ni term statistics. Search lah.

To my beloved

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Anekdot first day...

Salam adik-adik semua. Salam mak aku, mak aku peluk kuat-kuat. Mak aku menangis. Panjang mak aku pesan, last-last keluar perkataan 'I Love You'. Itu pun dah cukup sebenarnya. Hati bahagia, walaupun tak tunjuk di muka. Nak menangis jugak, tapi senyum je. Nanti lagi sedih mak aku. Mak aku menangis macam aku nak pergi oversea je, walhal Penang je pun. Masa tu mata dah bergenang, tapi lap cepat. Nanti mak aku lagi sedih. Walaupun depan orang, I'm proud being treated like that. Lol, anak manja. Not a whimpy one, but anak manja yang able to protect his family, and to protect his ummah. Kemudian salam ayah aku. Salam and peluk cara gentlemen. He taught me how to be a man. Kemudian salam and peluk adik-adik kecik dua orang, Ayaz dan Saif. Tapi derang macam tak kisah, sebab tengah bergurau sesama sendiri. Aku pun biarlah. Kereta pun pergi, akak polis sebelah siap tegur lagi, 'tak menangis ke?'. 'Taklah, dah besar, control sikit'.

Kemudian, dalam 30 minit lepas tu, mak aku call. Dengar suara Ayaz kuat menangis dalam fon, dia cakap "Abg Asif, terima masih kerana telah membesarkan Ayaz dan menjaga Ayaz dengan baik selama ni..Ayaz janji akan belajar elok-elok dan ngaji tiap malam-malam..huuuu(sambung nangis)". Aku pun menangis dalam bilik, berderai-derai air mata jatuh. Aku pun letak telefon,tak tahu nak cakap apa. Call mak aku balik lepas tu, tanya Ayaz cakap tu skrip ke? Mak aku cakap tak, memang Ayaz cakap sendiri. Ayaz ni darjah satu kalau kome nak tahu. Dalam kereta masa tu pun terkejut, Ayaz cakap macam tu. Rupanya masa aku salam derang dalam kereta tu, derang tak tahu aku nak masuk U dah. Kelakar betul. Bila dah otw balik baru mak aku cakap lepas ni Abg Asif takda, siapalah yang nak teman pergi tandas, buat susu, ngajar ngaji semua. Terus dua-dua menangis. Baru derang sedar. Keh keh. Sentimental betul. Dah takda sapa dah aku nak marah sebab conteng buku aku. Haha.

**************************

1. I wrote this, with my love towards my family, and towards my very nice uncles and aunties. Asif di sini sihat-sihat aja. Baik-baik aja. Sudah mula kelas, juga sudah mula usrah. Usrah Asif dengan Dr *#^%$#, professor Physics di USM. Sampai-sampai di Penang ikhwah dah bawak pi jalan-jalan. Hujung minggu ini InsyaAllah pergi panjat gunung dengan Aqsa Syarif. Asif KoKu masuk Kesatria Negara.

Subject daftar enam, in which ada dua are pretty easy. English dan Agama Islam. Subjek lain biasa je. Dua physics, satu calculus, lagi satu subjek faculty - ElectroTechnology. Library dia best. Roommate pun boleh tahan. Seorang roommate dah mintak Asif ngajar dia mengaji walaupun kat Pusat Islam ada je halaqah al Quran ustaz tu buat. Tapi, ustaz-ustaz tu pun baca tajwid kantoi juga, tapi Asif diam jelah. Budak baru katakan. Pusat Islam dia aktif, almost every day ada kuliah. Lagi dua orang roommate selalu tengah DF. Sorang dah suruh Asif kejut dia Subuh masjid betul-betul sampai bangun. Setakat ini alhamdulillah tak ada kelas malam, boleh mengaji dan study senang sikit.

Kafe dia pun murah, setakat ini Asif kira perbelanjaan Asif RM211 sebulan, untuk makan sahaja. Buku belum beli lagi, tapi rasa macam tak payah kot. Although I love books so much, I think dengan keadaan duit sekarang, rilek-rilek dulu lah. Lecturer pun dah prepare note online. Wahai Mama n Baba, walaupun Asif dah dewasa, tapi macam perlu bantuan untuk beli laptop lah. Macam perlu sangat di sini. Hihi. Dah jumpa ramai ikhwah senior sini, derang offer Asif buku jugak. Separuh harga. Kat sini ada tiga rumah ikhwah dekat dengan UiTM.

Naim pun dah masuk UIA PJ. Dia exempted APT, EPT level 6.

2. I wrote this, with a bunch of regrets towards my best friend. Aku minta maaf, sebab tak dapat pergi oversea dengan kau. Aku cadang nak pergi nanti. Maybe Master. It is my utmost regret when I made the decision. Insya Allah, I pray, you'll be a great physicist one day, and as for me, to be a great engineer.

And thank you for everything. And Asyraf Roslan! happy belated birthday! Aku ingat masa form 4 aku lupa birthday kau. Haha. Moga berkat umur kau..dan mudah pelajaran kau. Aku sebenarnya ada post untuk kau, tapi maklumlah orang tak ada laptop plus wifi sentiasa bingung di sini. Ini pun roommate aku seludup gajet apa entah macam ada parabola nak intensify wifi bilik ni. Lepas ni, aku, kau dan Omar susahlah nak jumpa lagi. Sorang di Penang, sorang di Klate, sorang di Manchester. Acano nak gi tonton dota tournament lagi??

3. I wrote this, with a mountain of hope in the future. As you said, I put my choice on Allah. And I really really really really really hope that I can make it in time, to win. In 3 years, I'll be there. I'll meet him, and I'll be ready. Mark my word.

4. To all, do pray for me.

Ini aku sertakan lagu masa kami orientasi, ada abang senior dua orang nyanyi. Sumpah terbaik!! Aku menangis dengar, menangis betul. Aku tengok keliling aku ada yang nangis jugak. Later I know, they were the ones who are just like me, some older, 22 yrs old. Pegang harapan family. Bila datang sini, baru tahu, lagi ramai unfortunate. I should be grateful.

Written in the stars [Part 4]

There goes the goodbye of September, a faithful Observer. Either time is linear, or it is cyclical - no one can point the absolute. Experience stays. Perhaps they say, history is repeated - it is the experience. Experience is a story. We, them, are just players. We fit in, we experience, we settle in, and then we set off.

We, humans, used to ask questions. Of Whats. No worries of life, no burdens, no responsibilities. Just satisfying the hunger of young curiosity. Life was pretty direct back then.

As we grew up, Of Hows started to present themselves. Our Senses - a consciousness now has a new friend - Reason. As Of Whats presented themselves as lines - flat and one dimensional, Of Hows introduced themselves as chains. Long endless chains. Now Reason could help Senses to find answers. Reason could help by means of reasoning, to find reasons. Forward and backward, right and left. Humans have been more methodical by now. Their two dimensional means of answers seem quite helpful. So they thought. Life was thought to be a two-dimensional world.

But later in life, something happened. Humans felt voids. Emptiness. So vast and so deep. But humans knew no deepness. All along, theirs were forwards, rights, lefts, and backwards. To figure it out, humans make a large circle. To trap it, and solve it. Humans were confident, there was no way it could pass. But, to their surprise, it jumped out of the circle.

From that time, Of Whys came to liberate humans from the two-dimensional prisons. Humans just discovered Up and Down. Senses and Reason now had a new friend, Heart. From there, humans embarked on a new journey.

______________________________________________________________________

Once in a while, Life waits. Just like a fighter - waits for the right moment, to blow a hit. It's life. What matters, is you just have to rise and stand up again. 'Nobody is gonna hit as hard as life' [Rocky Balboa].

"And then he can murmur, confidently and with an open mind: my philosophy is travel, and pluralism is my destination. Humility is my table, respect is my garment, empathy is my food, and curiosity is my drink. As for love, it has a thousand names and is by my side at every window" [Tariq Ramadan]

Tunggangan baru, Alhamdulillah.

Hari tu, motor Xcite rosak, semput katanya. Bawak-bawak mati tiba-tiba. Motor yang dah accident dua tiga kali dengan aku sama-sama. Cabut itu ini, calar itu ini. Motor yang dah banyak sangat berjasa pada aku. Sayang sangat. Dah berapa kali hantar baiki, rosak juga. Sampai haritu nak pergi program, on the way, rosak. Tersadai tengah highway. Immobile lah jugak beberapa hari.

Ada kelmarin, ayah aku close deal dengan seorang abang ni. Beliau belikan motor baru. Taklah motor BARU, motor second hand jugak, maklumlah, orang bujang tak payah nak power sangat lah motor BARU. Cukup untuk keperluan. Ayah aku tahu aku minat motor besaq. Aku pernah minta RX-Z. Tapi motor tu panas sangat, sebab kawasan rumah ini banyak pencuri motor. Yamaha LC jiran aku yang pasang rantai dan alarm pun diangkut motor bawa lari naik lori. Motor SS aku pun kena curi tahun lepas. Jadi untuk tak ambil risiko, ambil motor kurang panas. Ingatkan motor cup biasa je. Tengok-tengok dapat motor ni, Alhamdulillah, seronok tak terkata. Motor ni tak panas di pasaran penjenayah (Ceh.. cakap macam kita ni penjenayah jugak ye dak? -.-)

Ayah aku[dalam gambar]  close deal malam tadi.

Jelita sungguh!! 

Kena banyak berlatih posture baru. Tak biasa. Sebab biasa motor kapcai dengan motor Jaguh je. Motor macam ini tak pernah lagi. Insya Allah, moga Allah berkati pembelian ini, berkati aku sebagai rider dia, dan bantu aku untuk menjadi rider yang bermanfaat untuk dakwah. Lepas ini boleh lah nak pergi daurah ke, jogging ke, sekolah ke naik motor ni. Tapi malu sikit lah, segan. Motor cantik, yang bawaknya tak berapa skillful. Takpe, pelan-pelan kayuh!

Moga Allah limpahkan berkat ke atas ayah aku, aku, dan motor ini. Terima kasih Baba!

Selamat tinggal Xcite! T_T

Picturesque 4 : Of Superbike and Baby Po

Of A Superbike

Kawasaki Ninja

On road, there are a few types of drivers. Along my years (only 5 years.. heh) of driving, I come to a conclusion that drivers of cool cars aren't the same with drivers of cool bikes. They aren't the same. Still, my conclusion only applies to my living area and its vicinity.

The above picture is one example of great bikes. And drivers of these kind of bikes really have set a very good example on road. Let me tell you a bit about how most of them behave on road.

Of Whys
1. During red light, bikers from 'golongan marhaen', rempit or any kind will ignore the red light, find a space, wait for a clear line and then accelerate. Especially when it is raining or on a very hot day. Most bikers will develop a kind of sharp sense knowing when the lights will turn color, the duration for each color, and few seconds of buffer between colors. If you can see at any time, you can see that they don't actually looking at the light in front of them. They will either look at the traffic light across them, or they will see reflection of colors from either signboards or poles from traffic light they can't see straight. So they can have a good guess when their light will turn green. And then, when the other light turns orange, even when their own light is still red, they will accelerate. Most of them will behave this way. BUT, for superbikers, they are different. Even when all bikes have gone ignoring the red light, you will find them still at their place. Relaxed and cool. I don't know the real reason behind this. Whether if they get a ticket it would be much more expensive than normal bike, wallahu a'lam. But, in term of obeying traffic, yes, they do set a very good example.

2. There was a time, at Youth Leadership Programe URI, I sit beside our van driver for the program. He said to me, the thing he's afraid the most on road was motorcyclists. Because of their unpredictable nature. Well, that's understandable. Often, when a motorcyclist sees a hole to slip in a tight traffic, he/she will try to slip as fast as possible. It is because their size is small, so, any hole will do. We call this 'cilok'. And often too, they forget to give signals. It's like if you draw any graph, their curve will not be very smooth and predictable. Still, a large portion of them gives signals. Same goes to superbikers. They respect the road, and they are respected.

3. Usually, when the light turns green, some motorcyclists will 'press' like heaven sampai yang terpacak-pacak. If not terpacak pun, it's like they are trying to lead and be the first of the horde that's just been released. And you know how cool are superbikers, they don't even get distracted by the other bikers. They just speed up normally, and with their own pace catching up with others. Although initially they are left out from the rest of the speeding bikers, those superbikers will end up un'chase'able by the early speeders. And the way you see how they behave from a spectator's view, so cool.

4. And the best is, they are so polite on road, yet they are so skillful. What does I mean is that they give way to people, they don't just cut people's way, during traffic jam especially, they are so skillful in 'mencelah' to the extend sometimes even when usual bikers are afraid to pass through some narrow slips between cars, they pass through it like nothing. And if they can't pass it, they will stay quiet and wait. On the contrary, some bikers even press in free gear to warn car drivers to make way for them. Some even hit the side mirrors. And most will honk 6 harakat or more.

5. And you know why they can drive so fast? One factor that I know is because of their attire. You know, when you are wearing something loose, and you ride your bike so fast, your shirt and your trousers are flapping so fast, it makes you feel cautious. But, when you wear tight driving jacket, the air doesn't make any of your parts flapping, so you kind of forget how fast you are and you just cruise along the road happily. But, it's a bit dangerous, it can be very deceiving.

Why do I say superbikers are different than expensive car drivers?

From what I've seen and experienced, most BMW and Mercedes drivers in the area of Damansara, PJ, Gombak - they really don't have any sense of giving signals. Most of them. The numbers can go up to 90 percent. Even when I'm driving car, they don't know how to give signals. I don't know why. It happens mostly to people with expensive cars. Proton, Innova, and other normal cars do give signals. But them? Entah. Perhaps I'm committing a fallacy of  generalization - but again, this situation only applies in my living area as far as I'm concerned.

If someone wants to compare drivers of great cars and bikes, I can say, they are not the same. One side have less sensitivities, less skillful, and a bit 'noob' on road (Noob in context of respecting road users), another side is more skillful, does a better job in setting example for other drivers.

Ini pun superb!

There are some things worth sharing here, so that new motorcyclists can take note.

1. If it is too windy, stop. I once drove along MRR2, where at that time, rain started to pour. Few of us motorcyclists still continued, so we sped up hoping to get past the raining cloud. So, in that cluster it was like around 100 km/h or more. Then, all of a sudden, a huge blast of wind passed. My cluster, at that time was in the middle lane, somehow was pushed to the right lane where the cars moved so fast. One of us was even almost hit a big lorry. That wind pushed us to the next lane while we were moving. It felt like your bike moved without you realizing. I never thought that wind could be so powerful. Since, I will always bend my body lower when  I'm speeding in rain in case of emergency.

2. For motorcyclists, it is dangerous if you are travelling when the road is wet and there are thunders dancing upon you. For cars, it is safe. But not for bikers. Because lightning can struck you while you are on bike. Once, when some bikers and I stopped under a fly over during a heavy downpour, a flash of lightning struck very near to us. At the same time, almost all of us under the fly-over felt the 'shock', the same feeling when you touched a leaked circuit - hot and numb. We talked about it, and we never knew that lightning have that kind of 'area-of-effect' (AOE). But then, I still suspended my conclusion, until after I watched River Monster, where in that episode, Jeremy Wade's cameraman was zapped by lightning, and he felt a little dizzy. The lightning didn't hit him directly, but the spot so near it made the cameraman went dizzy and fell. So, watch out if there any thunder festival up there. You might get stunned.


Baby Po
So, since baby Shrek, I've never found anything cuter. But, when Dragon Warrior Po came into action to search for his long-lost history, I found his 'smaller' version very intriguing and exciting. And seriously, I couldn't stand the cuteness. Let the picture tells the cuteness....So, I rank baby Po as the most cutest thing in history.

p/s 1 : There're so much reasons for people out there to continue living, why give up? :D
p/s 2 : I'm towards a healthier life. Just weeks ago, masa program, jadi Faci, seorang budak perempuan datang, 'abang akan jadi lagi hensem kalau kurus lagi skit'. *blushing* .. For that, I've been swimming 0.5 kilometers every day. So, keep motivating me! Haha.. Siapa-siapa nak ajar Butterfly Stroke boleh datang rumah.

One Litre of Tears

Dua minggu lepas Naim balik dari DQ. Tengah-tengah dia guna komputer, dia promote suruh tengok cerita One Litre of Tears. Dia kata sedih, dia menangis tengok. Sebelum ini pernah juga baca blog Syazana Zahidah few years back, cerita pasal siri ini juga. Suruh dia copy, nak tengok jauh mana sedih cerita itu. Kalau tak sedih boleh buat bahan kata hati dia terlebih lembut sikit-sikit nangis bila tengok cerita, tapi kalau cerita itu buat aku menangis juga, aku diam je lah. Takkan nak bahan adik sebab menangis tengok cerita tu sedangkan diri sendiri pun tengok tumpah juga air mata kejantanan.

Neurologist yang baik bersama si pesakit.

Cerita ini mengenai kisah hidup seorang pesakit Spinocerebellar Atrophy. Sakit bahagian neurologi, yang mana penyakit itu membuatkan si pesakit hilang keupayaan secara perlahan-perlahan dalam tempoh yang lama. Mula-mula dia selalu jatuh, gagap, tak boleh lari, tak boleh jalan dengan betul, susah nak makan dan sampai dia kena baring atas katil.

Jadi, sejak dua minggu lepas, bila ada masa terluang sahaja tengok sikit demi sikit. Ada sejam setengah jam kosong usha sikit. Tak skip, tengok betul-betul sebab nak tahu macam mana Naim boleh menangis. Tapi sikit-sikit lah. Mula-mula dah yakin dah cerita ini emo biasa je, tak sedih pun. Tapi last-last cis, sedih yang teramat sangat sampai mengalir air mata di pipi. Rasa bersyukur ada macam-macam nikmat Allah bagi. Kagum juga dengan heroin dia, Aya. Dan kagum dengan 'consistency' si Akou. Cerita-cerita macam ini boleh hidupkan hati yang mati. Jadi, aku mengalah. Cerita ini sedih. T.T Sangat menyayat jiwa.

Bukan dia seorang menangis 1 liter, aku masa ESQ dengan Asyraf Roslan pun menangis nak dekat dua liter tak bising pun. "Rasulullah s.a.w telah bersabda yang maksudnya: "Bacalah al-Quran dan menangislah, dan jika tidak boleh menangis buat-buatlah menangis" - Hadis riwayat At-Tabrani."  Buat-buat menangis, it helps. Menangis akan menghidupkan hati. Serius. Faillam tabku, fatabaakau = Tak boleh menangis, buat-buat menangis.

* Cerita OLOT based on a true story.

* Sebelum ini tak minat sangat. Lagi-lagi cerita penuh emosi lagu ni. Tapi, cerita ini penuh emosi dan pengajaran. Jadi, siapa yang belum tengok sila tengok. Dah tengok, tak apa. Tapi jangan cakap apa-apa, memang aku lambat bab meng'update' cerita-cerita emosi macam ni. Tak minat. Kalau ada One Litre of Tears siri kedua aku takkan tengok(ade ke? haha)

* Sedang mendraf post HIMPUN dan DIALOG HARMONI. :)

Siapa yang malas nak baca sinopsis, sila tengok trailer ini.

A story

Selamat menyambut Ramadhan kepada semua. Moga Ramadhan kali ini betul-betul dapat menyucikan jiwa dan hati kita yang makin usia bertambah makin kotor dan kurang sensitif dengan dosa-dosa yang kita lakukan. Mukmin melihat dosa bagai gunung besar yang menghempap. Munafiq melihat dosa bagai lalat hinggap di hidung, dia menepis lalu lalat itu terbang.

*****************************

On the lovely morning of the first Ramadhan,

She said "Selamat pulang ke rumah"

He wished to say "Thank you. I've come home and stop being f***. Thanks to you..all of it".

But he did not say it to her. Why?


p/s : Kawan saya ada yang dah nak bertolak ke US dan UK. T.T Sedih...

Written in the stars [Part 1]

I began to ask myself.. where am I?

I remembered. I left my physical vessel. Flying astrally. I marched to the sky. Meeting celestial guardians.

I passed the seven gates of smaller kingdoms. I ascended higher, I saw Her. She was beautiful. Magnificent. I wondered. Will I be here again? I love Her. I live in Her. If I had the time, I would be there to watch Her for the rest of my life. But, time was something I did not have. Could I make it in time?

I walked. I saw these beautiful balls circumambulating the infernal rose. She included. These balls hanged to the rose of the inferno - by strings of balance and equilibrium. Of gravitational and centrifugal. Delicate balance. I looked, nearest to the rose was ball of melted iron. I didn't even think of going there. Farthest was a sphere of gases and ices. This system seemed to me like a live night dancing hall. Enchanted by magic laws of the King of kings.

I ascended higher. Further. Hoping to meet my Creator. I saw the gigantic astounding garden where She lived. Where I lived. The infernal rose she was attached to with other balls seemed so tiny within the garden. I saw some flowers were dancing, spinning, burning, exploding, and releasing jets of stunning smells. Some died and shone the whole world. They died beautifully. Some evolved into smaller and denser flowers. Some met their mates - forming a binary system. Made love until the day they died. But,they did not just die. New young flowers bloomed from the death of their ancestors, ruins of the ancients. Just like they said "From ashes springs new life". His beautiful astounding creatures of this lower sky served Him well. From the start to the end. They shone their lives with hamdalah, danced along their paths with takbir, and died with tasbih. Allah.. Forgive me. My heart sank deeper. What was I to Him?

I said to myself.. Be strong. This long dark road will end one day. I ascended faster to the High end of the world. I knew, I would find Him. Along the way.. I saw thousands of gardens. Super clusters of gardens. The gardens were beautiful. Various colors shone and billions of flowers in them - showing off. The vast arena of beautiful gardens beneath me presented themselves clearly. Hitting me deeper. These things - His creations were way more powerful and beautiful than me. In fact they were superior than me in almost every aspect. Yet..they uttered proudly names of their God. They praised Him days and nights - although technically there was no days and nights for them. They observed their rights to their God, and they executed their duties to their God sincerely. They were full of beauty and love. Love inspired by God. And the same love, inspired me.

I met thousands of heavy voids. Black and dark. What was it of I did not know. I was afraid. This creation of His resembled fear and evil. For I feared of the unknown. I saw those voids were eating lights of hopes. I also saw the smooth fabric of this world seemed to bend more around them. Same thing happened to the massive flowers of the inferno back there, but they tore the fabric more cruelly. No compassion or mercy to the mere magic of my world. Everything seemed so unlikely. I became afraid. I flew higher. I could not comprehend what was happening in and around them. I was so scared. I looked at them again. Their darkness stunned me. I thought of them - this was the destruction of all. They would engulf us when the time came. So.. there is no hope at all, I said. I exhaled slowly. There was no way those beautiful gardens would escape from these dark voids. Sadness covered me slowly. They were just so unknown and mysterious. I felt sorry for them, for Her, and for other humans left. Suddenly, I saw small glimpses of hope from the voids. I could never see hope if it wasn't escaping the voids.There was no way hope could escape from that. Yet.. my sight denied my flawed reasoning. I could not believe it. I moved closer..I saw light of hopes were flushing out from the center of those voids. Various kinds of light. Some shone the way.. Some triggered lives of new flowers. Some shaped new gardens. It puzzled me. How can the darkness itself bear such blessing? My candle of heart was rekindled with fire of hope. Again. I felt sorry for myself. How could I give up on Him? La tai'asu min rahmatillah. La tai'asu min rauhillah.

I left the magnificent clusters of super clusters of gardens and dark regions of heavy mysterious voids. It was getting darker. I rose higher. The bright view diminished below me. I ascended higher. I had never been here. This place was beyond my knowledge. Even out of my imagination. I could not rose higher. Some sort of barriers somehow was blocking me from going further and higher. I guess..this was the limit of human. The limit of my knowledge and imagination. Maybe here was the place they called 'The Giant Door'. There were seven skies, and I was in the first sky. Perhaps this was the gate. I could not pass through this. I remembered an amazing true story. About my beloved prophet, Muhammad and his journey, Isra' wal Mi'raj. ''Peace be upon you..oh My Love. I am sorry I can't be a good follower. I am trying..''

So this was the place. At the edge of the world I knew, I sat down. Hoping You could shed some light to me. I lifted my hands. I prayed. With my heart...................................''Ya Allah.. I do not know if I can withstand this anymore. Ya Allah..please. Show me the way... Please.. Please..''

Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, "None of you should wish for death  because of a calamity befalling him; but if he has to wish for death, he should say: 'O Allah! Keep me alive as long as life is better for me, and let me die if death is better for me.'"

Written in the stars
A million miles away
A message to the main
Seasons come and go
But I will never change
And I am on my way

Success and chance

Assalamu'alaikum.

It is normal in my Further Math class, be it statistics or pure, at one time the whole class will stop talking and moving, staring to my lecturer, like we all do not know what is happening. Like "what is she talking about...?" or so quiet all 15 of us will have the face of complete lost and disorientation.

I have sister and some juniors who are still in dilemma whether to take up or not Additional Math for their SPM. My opinion, value it with your effort and its relevance for your degree, or diploma or whatever ambition you want to pursue. It is not about others. You do not need to follow the typical flow that implies 'Science' stream is better than 'Art'. The comparison should not even start in the first place. Because when you see how this world works, you will understand how we need each other. But, wait, I'm not saying that I already see the whole world works, only the tip of its iceberg can make you understand.

This week's Further Statistics class makes my day brighter. Alhamdulillah. After doing one after one question, proving one by one each formula, my lecturer gives us a beautiful advice. In my class, I learn about Geometric Distribution, geometric probabilities. It is about calculating the probability of success after n of trials. Calculating the probabilities of the number of attempt, up to and including the first success from n trials, each trial is independent. Like, if the probability that I will shoot the target is 0.2, the probability that I will miss it will be 0.8 (as miss and hit plus will be 1). The formula is X~Geo(0.2); P(X=r) = pq^(r-1). If I try 4 times, and hit at my fourth attempt, the equation will look like this P(X=4) = (0.2)(0.8^3).

The most likely that I will hit the target is on my first attempt. Why? Because the probability will only be p, which is equal to 0.2. If I don't hit it on my first attempt, the probability that I will hit it on my next attempt will be smaller, and the probability will continue to be smaller for the next attempts.



The probability is getting smaller....as it goes..

So, what is it about, success and chance with this geometric thing? Thanks to my lecturer for giving us this beautiful advice. When we are given chance to do something, we must try our best. Personally, I often feel that, I can do better next time. "Relaks dulu" attitude sometimes makes the outcome not so beautiful. Even I'm sure that I can do better next time, and I do most of the time, but she gives me a headshot. She said, in  our life, in everything we do, we must try our best. In every attempt, in every thing. We must not learn to say "I will do better next time, this time I want to relax or do something else first". Because Mathematics has proven that it is not true. So, even in each attempt, we think it is so easy and useless, we must give our best so that we can live our life to the fullest. Gaining full benefits, from our best attempts. The highest probability that we will success is in our first attempt.

BUT, although the probability is getting smaller after we fail, times after times. Mathematics has proven also, that there is chance that it will happen, it will succeed. So, when you fail so many times, never give up! You must have faith, and you must bear in mind, there is still a probability that you will succeed. So, never give up. After she gives the advice, I feel so refreshed and thankful. I don't know why.

And for us Muslims, our God will always help us. When you do something, do your best, and let Him decide the best for you... :) And if we want to do something the next day, or the next time, do not forget to say Insya ALLAH.

Nor say of anything, "I shall be sure to do so and so tomorrow"- Without adding, "So please Allah." and call thy Lord to mind when thou forgettest, and say, "I hope that my Lord will guide me ever closer (even) than this to the right road." [Al Kahfi, 23-24]

Insya Allah, I believe in Him.

p/s - I think Mathematics is beautiful, but Physics is more earthy. Like my Physics lecturer said, If you think Physics is hard, dont blame Physics, the hard part is Mathematics, so blame Mathematics...haha

p/s 2 - Happy birthday to my beloved brothers Amru, Ayaz, and Saif this month. Ayaz and Saif got two remote control cars, and at the end of the day, it was their big brothers who played those cars, while the little two switched to more conservative toys like Hot Wheel and Ben10 action figures, Hybrid and XLR8. =.=

Hybrid. Saif's best friend for few days.. haha



Au Revoir

"Bila nta bertolak?" ana bertanya.
"Insya Allah 15 Mac ni.." dia menjawab. Hati ana gembira untuk dia, pada masa yang sama juga sedih.

___________________________________________

Ana kenal dia sejak kecil lagi. Dia senior ana, setahun tua. Kami bertaekwondo sama-sama, lagi dalam team demo sama-sama. Satu Selangor kami jelajah berdemo. Selalu jugak muka kena reverse turning kick dia. Tidur hotel, mandi swimming pool, macam-macam lagi. Lepas itu sekolah sama-sama, sampai besar masuk DQ pun tempat sama. . Ana rapat dengan adik dia, sebaya dengan ana. Orang yang ana maksudkan ini, akhlaqnya sangat baik dan ana sangat hormat. Kalau nak diletakkan dalam rank, dia lah orang paling ana hormat selepas ibu bapa dan guru-guru yang ana rapat.

Sederhana memang sinonim dengan dia. Dia tawadhu'. Ada sekali masa ana tanya keputusan semester 2 DQ, dia diam dulu, pejam mata, istighfar kemudian baru cakap, dapat 4.0 flat. Ada lagi sekali selepas dia selesai A-Level A2, masa tamrin kami berjumpa. Ana bertanya mengenai result A2 dia. Dia jawab 3A dan 1B. Dia mendapat B dalam bahasa German. Ana dalam hati, oh..Mungkin German susah sangat. Dia pelajar pandai. Lepas itu ana tanya dia pasal ikhwah-ikhwah lain kawan ana yang di GMI yang lain dapat berapa. Dia cakap-cakap, pun ikhwah-ikhwah tu tak dapat A German. Ana tanya la, berapa yang dapat A German. Dia cakap, seorang A, seorang B, yang lain C dan ke bawah. Nak tersedak masa itu, dia dapat 2nd ranking untuk Bahasa German. Sangat-sangat low profile. Masya Allah.

Kalau tengok muka dia, rasa bertambah iman. Dia macam abang pada ana. Mentor dan guru. Masa ana jadi SU Masyab, dia pun pernah jadi SU Masyab. Ana rujuk dia. Dia jadi KU, tahun berikutnya ana pulak. Pun ana rujuk dia. Dia masuk DQ, pun ana masuk, ana rujuk dia. Tapi, rapat dengan dia bukan melahirkan rasa taksub macam kita taksub pada sesetengah tokoh politik atau PS. Dia pendiam, tapi dia selalu mengingatkan ana, menegur sangat-sangat halus, dan ambil berat. Ilmu dia banyak, diam dia pun banyak. Bercakap bila perlu.

Banyak lagi nak cakap, dan ana pun tahu dia tak online selalu, dan sangat rendah probability untuk dia baca post ini. Pernah masa kami berprogram di Bukit Fraser, kami disuruh tulis nama orang-orang yang kami inginkan jika berada dalam situasi tertentu macam ketika tersesat di hutan ataupun jika mati nak siapa imamkan solat dan nyatakan sebabnya. Ana masih ingat dia menulis nama ana untuk situasi tersesat di hutan, dan ana betul-betul ingat sebab ana ada skil atau tenang dalam cemas(sebab orang lain tulis macam itu juga), tapi dia cakap apa, "Sebab ana rapat dengan dia". For someone you respect so much, when he admits that he is your close friend, cloud nine la.

Cuma, sedih dia nak pergi ke German dah. Lepas ni tak jumpa dah program, tak jumpa dah. Sebab sayang sangat. Tapi takpe, lagi tiga tahun jumpa balik kan? Ha. Insya Allah. Cuma lepas ni kurang la ahli AJK kem tahfiz seorang. Ana doakan moga perjalanan nta dipermudahkan. Insya Allah, moga perjalanan menjadi Muslim engineer berjaya. Amin. Ya rabbal 'alamiin.

Barakallahu fiik ya akhi.

* Post peribadi.

Welcome to Upendi.

Assalam.

An attempt to describe Upendi from my perspective.

*Upendi. For those who don't know what does Upendi mean, you'll understand by the time you read this post, insya Allah.

Upendi can be a place. A place where when you arrive, you'll feel happy. Calm and welcomed. A place, where you will feel tranquil when nobody is there. A place where when someone is there, the feeling is magnified. Such a magnitude.

Upendi can be a group of friends. Whether you have known them for years, or for days, they will still treat you as close and nice as possible. You meet them, they hug you. You look worried, they ask things about you and how you are doing. Even when you are alone on the verge of doing sins, they will text you and remind you. At 4 in the morning when you go to the toilet, you'll see messages reminding you. You can count on them on whatever things, and they will always be for you whenever you want some advice.

Upendi can be your parents. Upendi is there for sure, when your mum voluntarily want to help you wrap some birthday gifts and presents, and when you voluntarily buy her a slice of Secret Recipe to thank her. When you can share almost everything with your mum, and when you can look upon your dad as your personal hero - Upendi is blossoming in your heart. Well, Alhamdulillah, I thank Allah for blessing me a very supportive yet strict mother. And a very experienced daddy, he had taught a lot in my life.

Upendi can also be your siblings. Today, I ask my youngest brother Saif a question. A question that I have been asking for almost everyday since they(Ayaz and Saif) could talk. "Saif, sayang abang Asif tak?". He says "Yelah". Then I ask "Kenapa?". Usually he will say "Tak tahu..". What do I expect asking a 4 years old kid right? BUT today, he answers differently. When I ask why, he answers "Sebab Asif comel.." =.= Still, I know Upendi is there. Because I feel happy and so much love to him :)

Upendi can also be there when you give someone something. Tahadu, tahabbu.. Be it a nice advice, a 'charming' smile, a lift to anywhere, even a BOTTLE!

Upendi is there when you are at peak of your moment of solitude. Sometimes, not physically but spiritually. Only you can feel it.

Upendi has a vast meaning.

=) 

p/s - dalam mood mengimbau zaman kanak-kanak, Lion King, Mulan, Aladdin, etc. Indah sungguh..

p/s 2 - komplen pada mak, si Ayaz dan Saif duduk ulang movie kartun Upin Ipin dan Space Chimp brpuluh kali. Sampai abang-abang kakak naik muak dah, yang depa dua orang tu siap hafal skrip lagi dah. Maknya kata, dulu abang dan kakak pun duduk ulang-ulang tengok Lion King dan Aladdin, smpai naik jemu parents. Haha. Abang borek, kakak rintik, adik berpetak-petak. =.=

p/s 3 - sabtu Jubli perak Al-Amin. Jemput datang. Bangga menjadi Al-Aminian. May Allah bless all the teachers and staffs there, amin..

'Deal'

I remind the three numbers each time I press my calculator.

Sometimes, you need motivation and inspiration to excel and to succeed.

Once in a blue moon, you have to be punished too.

Even when you accidentally made mistake, unintentionally, slipped, be it.

So, be it. I have been punished. Extend and tighten.

I accept, thanks. Botol air? :)

***************************

Rumi said,

I went to the temple to find God, I did not find Him there,

I went to the church, He was not there too,

I went to the mosque, I did not find Him,

I looked into my heart, He was there.

p/s 1 : my friend just invited me into KDU Dota Group..  Guess need to do more practice eh, baru boleh serius gaming. haha. ini serius ni. (muka bersungguh).

p/s 2 : just thinking about being active in basketball. perhaps. i just need to play, but i fear i don't have time for that. hours per week - Physics 6 hours, Pure Maths and Stats 6 hours, Further Math Pure and Stats 7 hours, Economics 5 hours, Thinking Skills 2 hours, MPW 6 hours. All of it equals to 32 hours. =.=

p/s 3 : need to earn more money. money. need to buy laptop and etc. eceh, kebutuhan studi bak kata orang Indon.

p/s 4 : my assignment group is a 1Malaysia group. the first time in KDU my lecturer said. got Malay, Chinese, Indian, and Sikh..anyone can challenge?

p/s 5 : in the midst of re-structuring something in my school and batch. moga Allah permudahkan.

My daily routine..haha

He's a Wahabi?

Assalam.

Saya bukan nak mengulas mengenai siapa betul dan siapa salah.

Cuma, baru semalam saya dikejutkan, junior saya, dituduh wahabi salafi dan sesat. Junior ini telah saya kenali sedari saya sekolah rendah. Dan kami telah ke banyak program bersama, kami minat sukan yang sama iaitu basketball, juga kami kenal keluarga masing-masing. Rapat sangat.

Mengapa? Dia hanya berkongsi tentang hadith shahih mengenai doa sebelum makan dan selepas makan. Tiada mengutuk, tidak menyesatkan orang, juga tak marah-marah, tak mention pasal bida'ah. Hanya berkongsi apa yang dia baru belajar. What do you expect? He's an IRK student. He won't be sharing about rational function or Lorentz Transformation. Saya kenal sangat dia. Dia mungkin berharap kawan-kawannya dapat beramal dengan lebih baik. We are like that, if something better comes in case of Hadith or pendapat, we are open and go for it. That's what I thought. And I thanked him. Tiba-tiba, tahu-tahu komen kat bawah dah ada kena kutuk wahabi salafi sesat. Peliknya. Terkejut pun ada juga.

No need to comment about the one who accused him. I can cut his arguments straight to his neck - with discrepancies and fallacies, BUT, hey, are we forgetting what do we mean to each other? We are brothers. And brothers don't do that, especially in the name of Islam. If I think my friend is wrong, I will ask him if I'm not sure, and I will tell him he's wrong in a much better way. Never will I say, he's sesat. Whoever do this, I wonder, are they really want people to know the truth and convey the message for the love to his brothers, or they just want to be right and others to be wrong? Because real da'ie will bear in mind that every mad'u is invaluable and to lose them is a loss to Ummah.

Budaya saling menyesatkan makin menebal sekarang. Mungkin sebab kurangnya sifat bertolak ansur, dan kurangnya ilmu dalam Public Relations menyebabkan sesuatu mesej itu kadangkala disampaikan secara keras dan 'blunt'. Dari kedua-dua belah pihak. Saya tidak mewakili mana-mana pihak, namun saya ingin menjadi antara orang yang menyatukan kedua golongan ini. Alangkah baiknya kalau dua-dua ini disatukan.

Mesej yang dibawa tak salah, ianya methodology dan adab berikhtilaf yang kurang. Jangan diambil yang 'extreme' untuk mewakili general population. Pendapat mungkin dari kedua-dua belah pihak ada yang sedikit 'pelik' dan 'keras' namun ia tak bermakna pendapat yang sedikit itu mewakili pandangan umum sesuatu golongan. Kenal dahulu elok-elok. Saya sempat rapat dengan kedua-dua belah golongan, dan masya Allah akhlaq kedua-dua kawan yang saya kenali di DQ baik dan soleh. Dan kedua-duanya tidak saling mengutuk dan menyesatkan. Apabila mereka memahami adab ikhtilaf, cantik hasilnya. Saling menghormati.

Sahaja nak mengingatkan, dalam Quran kita ini Ummatan Wasatan..Ummah pertengahan. Dalam Quran cakap seimbang. Dalam kelas Islamic Studies mengingatkan tentang kepentingan menjadi sederhana.

خير الامور أوسطها

 “Sebaik-baik perkara adalah tengah-tengahnya (sederhana).” (Hadis riwayat Baihaqi)

Jadi, buat Muslim yang dicintai, jangan kita sembarangan menuduh orang sesat. Kita kena ikut macam Al-Quran ajar kita, 

Nabi Muhammad (s.a.w) ialah Rasul Allah; dan orang-orang yang bersama dengannya bersikap keras dan tegas terhadap orang-orang kafir yang (memusuhi Islam), dan sebaiknya bersikap kasih sayang serta belas kasihan kasihan sesama sendiri (umat Islam). Engkau melihat mereka tetap beribadat rukuk dan sujud, dengan mengharapkan limpah kurnia (pahala) dari Tuhan mereka serta mengharapkan keredaanNya. Tanda yang menunjukkan mereka (sebagai orang-orang yang soleh) terdapat muka mereka – dari kesan sujud (dan ibadat mereka yang ikhlas). Demikianlah sifat mereka yang tersebut di dalam Kitab Taurat; dan sifat mereka di dalam Kitab Injil pula ialah: (bahawa mereka diibaratkan) sebagai pokok tanaman yang mengeluarkan anak dan tunasnya, lalu anak dan tunasnya itu menyuburkannya, sehingga ia menjadi kuat, lalu ia tegap berdiri di atas (pangkal) batangnya dengan keadaan yang mengkagumkan orang-orang yang menanamnya. (Allah menjadikan sahabat-sahabat Nabi Muhammad, s.a.w dan pengikut-pengikutnya kembang biak serta kuat gagah sedemikian itu) kerana Ia hendak menjadikan orang-orang kafir merana dengan perasaan marah dan hasad dengki – dengan kembang biaknya umat Islam itu. (Dan selain itu) Allah telah menjanjikan orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh dari mereka, keampunan dan pahala yang besar. [Al Fath -43]

Ayat ini kalau baca memang sedap. Cantik bahasa dia, seindah maksud dan mesejnya. Contohi dan fahami sirah. Kalau dirasakan ianya boleh membawa perpecahan, diamkan. Atau bawakan ia dengan cara baru. Atau, biar generasi itu terdidik dahulu. Terdidik dengan tarbiah. Saya melihat, mereka yang sudah terdidik dengan tarbiyah tiada masalah dalam berinteraksi dengan pembaharuan. Sama ada di'smooth'kan ketajaman pembaharuan, atau dihormatinya sebagaimana yang diajarkan dalam adab berikhtilaf.  Sebagaimana Abdullah bin Mas'ud berselisih pendapat sehingga ke tahap kritikal dengan 'Uthman bin 'Affan kerana 'Uthman menunaikan solat zohor 4 rakaat, sementara Nabi, Abu Bakr dan 'Umar menqasharkan dua rakaat, semasa haji. Akhirnya, Abdullah bin Mas'ud mengikuti Uthman, apabila ditanya mengapa, beliau menjawab, "Sesungguhnya perpecahan itu lebih buruk".

Hebatnya sahabat-sahabat Rasulullah, kefahaman mereka tidak memberi mereka lesen untuk menyesatkan, juga tidak memberi mereka lesen untuk memecah-belahkan. Sebagaimana kefahaman Hasan Al Banna yang meninggalkan golongan yang bergaduh untuk solat 20 atau 8 rakaat, dan mengajak kepada sesuatu yang lebih tunjang, bukan cabang. Di akhir ajakan itu, masyarakat belajar erti toleransi dan kepelbagaian pendapat, tanpa menuding jari itu sesat ini sesat.

Saranan -

1. Golongan tradisionalis. Belajar statistics kan? Pernah dengar measure of central tendency kan? Guna pelajaran itu baik-baik. Ada mean, ada median, ada mode. Pilih lah mana-mana. Sesuai sekali guna median sebab ianya sesuai untuk set of data yang ada extreme value. Ambillah yang pertengahan. Jangan dilayan semua sama. Jangan senang-senang  dituduh sesat kalau tak tahu hujung pangkal. Jangan juga buat 'hasty generalization'. Kalau ada yang bukan mana-mana golongan mengharap perkara lebih baik, dibawanya hadith lebih sahih dengan aman, interaksi elok-elok sekiranya rasa ia boleh membawa perpecahan. Jangan dituduh sesat, anda secara tidak langsung sedang menolak dia jauh dari golongan anda dan tekan dia lebih dalam untuk memasuki golongan yang anda kurang sukai. Jadi, apa pointnya menegur kalau macam itu?

2. Golongan bawa hadith. Silakan. Cuma, cara dan tempat itu kena bertempat sikit. Macam Imam Syafi'e pernah cakap, dia benci ditegur dikhalayak ramai. Kenapa? Malu. Kita dalam nak membawa perkara bersih macam nas-nas ni, kita kena bawa dengan molek dan sempurna. Nabi dicaci dan dimaki bukan sebab cara beliau yang blunt dan kasar, dan tak melihat sensitiviti. Dalam usul fiqh dan fikrah pun ada belajar tajarrud dan tadarruj.
Tajarrud - Bersihkan dan kosongkan fikrah dulu. Biar yang nak disampaikan tak dihijab, oleh paranoid perubahan atau ria' atau jumud.
Tadarruj - Proses membaikpulih secara beransur-ansur. Khalifah Umar Abd Aziz pernah berkata kepada anaknya apabila didesak membuat perubahan drastik,

“Jangan tergesa-gesa, ya anakku, sesungguhnya Allah SWT mencela arak di dalam al-Quran dua kali, dan mengharamkannya di kali yang ketiga, dan aku bimbang kiranya aku membawa kebenaran ini kepada manusia secara sekali gus (drastik) maka mereka meninggalkannya juga sekali gus, maka berlakulah fitnah.”

Jadi, kalau betul-betul nak buat pembaikan, hormati sensitiviti dan 'adat masyarakat. Boleh diubah, tapi biar diubah dengan berhikmah. Saya harap sangat tak wujud dichotomy yang tegang dan jelas pada masa hadapan  nanti. Ubati sekarang elok-elok.

Enjit-enjit semut, siapa sakit naik atas..?

Kalau nak sangat puaskan nafsu menyesatkan orang, mari datang kolej. Dalam kelas saya je yang dah Muslim, ha, puaskan nafsu dalam kelas saya ok? Just Kidding :)

Tainted

Alone.

I often wonder, where did they all go? Of all the knowledge I have been learning from tadika till now.

Their absence often kills me. Or, maybe they are not absent. I fail to make them present.

Don't go.. please.

Soul-less. It is frightening. You see someone, you feel no love towards them. No feeling at all. No positive, no negative. Yet most of the time, they occupy the most in your life. When you see your friends, you greet them with normal expectation, just like people always do. You fail to invite feelings of happiness, welcome, and love. Yet you don't hate them at all. It is just, the feeling inside you does not exist.

On the outside, you look normal. But inside, it is a void. Nothing. Perhaps darkness. The way you react with people and life is just an effort to respect normality of life. Refuse to really deal the life with your inside, afraid it might reveal something in you that you yourself might fail to face the fact bravely.

And things get worse when you know and learn more compared to others, and you still keep learning and knowing, but the passion you expect from doing it seems to fade away. You seem to be dedicating your life with knowledge and its constituents, because you know, when you know you will understand. But instead of becoming nearer to God, it feels like you are drifting away far from God.

Am I looking through the wrong lens?

Or I am missing something?

It is like something is blocking my soul from inviting awareness from what I have learned.

But what, is the thing that is blocking?

I'm hoping to find the answers.

I miss my old life. Everyday I breath love and warmth, akhlaq and respect and many other things.

Looks like I need to find it on my own right?

Win it back.

Thank to Syazwan for providing a bit enlightenment about this.

It helps a bit.

In the end, my soul is tainted.

So be it

Period.

The Earthlings didn't understand why The Sun and The Moon acted that way. The unspoken conflict culminated at last. Yet - the culmination brought grief and sorrow to the Life on Earth. Such a disaster to Life.

The Sun and The Moon started being self-oriented. The Sun no longer wanted to shine The Moon. The Moon no longer wanted to reflect the light of The Sun. Yet - the selfishness act brought sadness. Such a disaster to Life.

The eldest of the Earthlings then spoke. To The Sun and The Moon - reminding them their responsibilities. To sustain life on Earth. To bring balance. Yet - none of them listened. Catastrophic.

The eldest then stood up, again. Spoke. Again, wrath had been blessed upon the eldest for his action.

"So be it" the eldest said.

"If it's meant to be, I'll be your Sun. Let alone no life will I have around me - my life is meaningful when I give you life. Let alone the fuel to burn - my memories of the past will burn my courage and action. Let alone the heat - my love to you will comfort me. Let alone being alone - because one day I'll be with you, in the heaven. Let alone of my life - when my life brings you life, my death will also give birth to hope and happiness. Such a supernova of paradoxical state - or of a glorious dwarf star."

"Who'll be the moon?" the earthlings asked.

"Not in my knowledge. The Moon was from the Earth itself once. Theia hit the Earth, debris formed the Moon. Now, I don't know. Will I wait for my binary star? Dancing around until the death invites?"

The question remained unanswered.

"If there is no one. No one to reflect my light, no one to inspire your life, just pray to Allah she'll come one day. I know she will" he said.

For the last time - the eldest went. Spoke in fury, manner, mixed with sadness and agony. Everything in his power, in his knowledge, in his wisdom - he used that day. He didn't want the Earth to be lifeless. Desperation took place. He was not what the Earthlings knew him. Nor the Sun and the Moon. In their face, he'd grown into something more sinister and evil. Yet - it needed to be done. For the Life, he thought. Let himself be the torrential tribute. ........After eons of standing in their ways, the unrest rested.

For now - he prays may the Sun and the Moon again be what they once had be. And the Life on Earth will be living as they were once lived.


"So be it" he said slowly.

So does the story told. Thank you.

Plant vs Zombies

Salam.

Bismillah.

Dengan bangganya ingin saya mengumumkan bahawa saya telah memenangi game "Plant vs Zombies". Terima kasih diucapkan kepada dua orang penyokong setia, Saif 3 tahun dan Ayaz 5 tahun. Menyambung perjuangan, hanya yang cukup cekal boleh melepasi gelombang zombi yang tak putus-putus.

Melayani 'short circuit' - musim exam dirai dengan cuti hujung minggu yang packed. Memutuskan kembali fius otak. Bagus! Best namun. Sabtu, konsert di Nilai. Ahad, volunteer FCR phase 2. Jumpa kawan-kawan smart. Serius. Insya Allah, phase 3 sama-sama. Syazwan, Nidzam, dan Salahuddin. Siap poyo lagi bila Xifu Naser mention pasal Illuminati dan Freemasons - nak buat seminar di U.S.. Haha.. Mentang-mentang masing-masing nak pergi U.S, ingat murah tiket? Jemput Noreagaa dan Archernahr. Hoho..

Perkara yang patut anda cemburui..

Salam.

Bismillah.

Perkara-perkara yang patut anda cemburui terhadap saya :

1. Saya left-handed. Jadi, bila study, boleh minum air susu atau soya sambil study tanpa menganggu perjalanan study. (Tu yang naik berat badan..tapi tengah menurun sekarang, serius!)

2. Saya pernah didiagnos ada low-blood pressure. Jadi sering mengantuk. Jadi, memang terlatih semasa study dengar walkman dan FOKUS. Pernah cuba untuk tak mendengar, namun ianya berakhir dengan pengembaraan di alam mimpi.

Namun, kebelakangan ini, Facebook dan TV telah mengurangkan efficiency study saya. Jadi, dua benda ini tolak tepi.

Yes!

Salam.

Feministic Affair

Salam.

Bismilllah.

*Warning. You may regard this post as the 'outlier' in my blog. (Calculate the Inter-quartile range yourself..)*

"Hey Asif, don't you realize that people dress very weirdly here?" Ashton asked.
"Em, no, it should be normal for you.. Isn't it? I mean, to me, all these 'open' dress are not suitable. It just keep getting guys feel 'strange'. Don't you feel that?" I answered.
"Yeah, I know I know, but, they really dress weirdly?. Look, she wears a very short pants, yet she wears a jacket. She's cold, but, that's it, she's a fashion victim.." he said.

**********

I don't know. It is just unfair. When KTM introduced the "Koc Wanita" - pink colored, the feminist movements roared. Lionesses gathered on the pride. Angry-looking speakers. Known -SOL, Sisters of Liberalism, condemned the action. Discrimination. Sexism. Equality. Not to mention the so-called Sisters in Islam. Eventually, make them look very silly. To those who have the basic knowledge at least. You would burst into laughter.

When feminism pervades, still, I think, there is still one point they missed. The very point that would benefit me, and my kind - male. Allah.. I hope, one day, all those 'extreme' feminists could get back on their sense and fight for their kind. Instead of commenting on certain issues which should be addressed with knowledge and respect in the circulation, they should focus more on this point.

If Disney was to be blamed for their insensitivity towards gender issues, I guess the ones who stood in the face of feminism should be responsible too for their ignorance towards the degrading of woman's dignity. What? The 'open'ness of woman's dress. Didn't someone notice something? The 'unfairness' and injustice women have to face? Imbalance coverage of area. The coldness and heat they had to face in order to meet the demand of today's world. Even if it is to the extend of sacrificing their dignity.

The most weird thing is - when the feminist movements are too busy to claim their 'equality', isn't it unfair only their kind in the public is responsible for getting the other kind sexually aroused? Betrayal of morality. Didn't they get mad when only their kind dominated the field? Field of satisfying lust. After Prophet Muhammad came with Islam lifting woman's honor and dignity, today's world did the opposite.

*****************

I acknowledge your contributions towards woman's protection, woman's rights and et cetera. But, this point is the root. Once men start to address your kind with respect and equal, these issues will recede. Our Prophet had proven that.

I pray to Allah, may the feminists fight for the real cause. Islam comes as the solution. Fight your rights along with Islam, you may find peace within your heart.

Muslimah, proud of your religion. At least you won't have to feed from attention. You are free. Be proud.

Salam.