Sometimes, life doesn't always be with you. What you know you cannot always make people understand. Even if it is true. Even if it is too simple - yet you cannot make people understand. It's life.
Sometimes, you lose yourself. It ain't that hard isn't it to lose yourself? Just let things happen. And happen and happen. You know when it is wrong - but you just see your heart weak and tired. Fatigue. Sick and ill. Your heart tries to reach you - ignorance is bliss.
Of Hitler's struggle - Of Friedrich's death of God - Of Darwin's difficulties of the theories - Of Christian's council of Nicea - Of Jew's birth of Muhammad - Of my own ignorance of responsibilities.
Events unfolded. Yet, we cannot wake up. Take a sip of breath and- still cannot move on. Allah..
Ar Rahman - Ar Rahim. These two names decorated every but one surah in the Quran. Such significance of presence only realized after years of learning.
The richest - vast and powerful - far-stretched - widest domain of love. Care. Guardian. He guards you, He cares about you and He is willing to do anything in order to protect you. He's like a caring boss, a loving CEO who rules the multiverse, and you are given the privilege as His believer - He will be with you along this life. What you ask, He grants - as long as it's good for you. He's with you whenever life throws unbearable problems, sufferings, despairs, and grief at you. He's the problem solver.
Less rich - specific and personal - special. He comes to you like a loving friend. Caters your life in an unexpected way. No less you could expect from Him. You fall, He helps you to get up. You sleep, He wakes you up. You can count on Him anything anywhere anytime. You loss your key, you can ask His help. You cannot prove the conjecture, you can ask His help. He treats you in a very friendly and loving way. Always - you had your back facing Him, yet He is Kind and All-Forgiving. He keeps giving you chances.
These two names - are two names from 99 names of Allah my God. You see - in al-Fatihah the first Surah in Quran Allah introduced Himself by these names. In the name of Allah, Ar Rahman and Ar Rahim. Now I see why Islam stays as the fastest growing religion on earth. Muslims have a very loving God. These two names encompass human yearnings of love. Real love.
Ar Rahman Ar Rahim - He is with you. Whenever you have big problems and small problems, He'll always be with you. Of that I will never doubt. I have a beautiful walk with Allah along this life. One day, trust me, one day, when the day comes - you'll end up crying. Cry and cry and cry. Why is Allah so kind and forgiving to us? We deny Him many times. Many deny Him. Many ignore Him. Allah still forgives us. Keep giving us chances. Your heart will sank - realizing how bad you have been as a servant. And how much Allah loves you. One day, I hope I'll end up like that.
Allah will always be with me. I know that. Ramadhan is coming.
"Ya Allah ya Wadud, ya Ghafur, please save me and my friends from fake love. If really the 'love' we wish is meant for us, keep it. Let us know after we have attained your love. Only by that way I know, you love the love I wish. Please save us from smart justification of syaitan, hatred, stupidity, and envy. Decorate our hearts with love, not with lust. Help us to stay healthy by heart and mind - and my soul. Let us be one of them who fights for your cause - I know the time is near. Please, bless my choices and guide me. Aminn.."
* Philosophy of Ar Rahman and Ar Rahim is extracted from a class, "How to think critically through the Balaghah of the Quran", reference - Fakhruddin ar Razi.