Blaming

I wrote this in a great deep remorseful feeling - as I just blamed the most important person in my life, the one that I love the most, because of my failure.

In this life, it's always about you, and how you control it.

I always believe - in this life, it's all about how you control and manipulate it. To make the best out of it. Each one's life, is based on one's perception. If one can see it and how it works, one may able to at least manage the direction of one's life. All in all, life is a choice.

I always thought about this - many people's failure - and the wave hits me at last.

If you know yourself would be a wild free thinker one day, give a shot to have a good thinking and philosophy class - and take up religious lesson.

If you feel yourself having a problem managing money, have a little time thinking of how big the impact will be to your family and life in the future - and start forming a new habit.

If you think you have an inclination or sexual tendency towards your gender, embark on a thought journey so that you can really contemplate and set the sexual desire aside for a while - and I'm sure you will see why Allah made us different.

If you feel that the way you live your life today isn't the right way of life, and you still can't find the key towards the happiness, and you have a thick layer of hypocrisy electroplated to your heart pretending that you are okay without the essences - go back to your God and control your pride and arrogance; wasn't the pride that had made Iblis expelled from the Heaven?

If you feel by loving someone, you will hurt her, keep it and be prepared so you can really love the person as you should when the time comes - and you will be satisfy and proud how honest you have been to yourself, your God and your partner.

If you think you can't handle some problems, start a discussion, find a shoulder to cry on, and express - so you will not stupidly blame someone you really love.

Life is a choice - and you have the choice in your hand, every second, every hour, every day, every sunset you see, to choose how you want to be and how to change your life. And to choose what kind of person you want to be.

وَلَا تَقُولَنَّ لِشَيْءٍ إِنِّي فَاعِلٌ ذَلِكَ غَداً

Nor say of anything, "I shall be sure to do so and so tomorrow"- [Al Kahfi : 23]

Sometimes, you can't get things done. Or you feel yourself too weak to execute your choice. Can't you put it aside and have some time to think? The verse says you cannot. You can only if...

إِلَّا أَن يَشَاءَ اللَّهُ وَاذْكُر رَّبَّكَ إِذَا نَسِيتَ وَقُلْ عَسَى أَن يَهْدِيَنِ رَبِّي لِأَقْرَبَ مِنْ هَذَا رَشَداً

Without adding, "So please God!" and call thy Lord to mind when thou forgettest, and say, "I hope that my Lord will guide me ever closer (even) than this to the right road."

In the end, at the edge of despair and sorrow, Allah offers his help to help you. So, if you see something ahead in your life, do something about it. If you don't know what to do, Allah is always by your side. Or if not, you will regret your ignorance. And you will end up hurting the ones you love.

Astaghfirullah.. I just don't know what to feel besides regret and remorse. And I hope it will all be okay by the time the sun rises..

Astaghfirullah..


* the above examples don't describe what I'm going through, especially the sexual inclination part, not at all. It's just situations that I have observed -